The world Will End Today! I See Money In Your Future.

Ah, the sweet smell of ambiguous bullshit. Don't you just love a horoscope? They are to news print what carny gypsies are to tented, side show attractions; tepid, recycled prognostications that can, if taken seriously, make or break your day. I have never given much weight to these predictions other than using them to pass the time while sitting on the can. Today I thought it might be funny to take a look at several horoscopes from competing newspapers to see how my day/week/month might fare.

There may be more happening emotionally for you than is apparent to anyone else now. You will be better off in the long run by allowing the current situation to continue on its course for a while longer, without forcing any kind of change. Whatever you do, don't just pick the easier path. Instead, take additional time to decide what's truly best.

I have had a pimple over my left ear for a few days and have been debating whether or not to pop it. Better not be hasty!


Unusually for a fun-loving Archer you could find that you’re in quite a heavy, somber mood today. Blame the planets; avoid heavy discussions; keep romance light or steer clear altogether. An off comment might irritate you, but just let it go; there’s no point laboring it, because you’ll get nowhere!

That woman at Dunkin Donuts baited me with Nietzsche. I fender her off with a glazed stick and a few quotes from "Green Eggs and Ham."

You may still think about when you were wronged in the past, but you have a choice about how to proceed. Revenge is like burning down your house to get rid of a rat.

What if that "rat" is that kid who gave you an atomic wedgie in the 4th grade and it is HIS house you want to burn down...TODAY?

Today is a 7. Listen to the reasons the other people offer to try to persuade you. Then, do what's best for them, which is also best for you. You're good at this.

Umm, what the fuck did that mean?

You should try your darndest to experience one or two new things today. You don't have to dive head first into a new culture or a strange hobby, you just have to show yourself a new thing. Try a different type of juice in the morning. Take a different road to work. Listen to a different radio station. By exposing yourself to unfamiliar things, you will either expand your horizons or confirm to yourself that your earlier preferences were right all along.

We have a winner. Today I made Jello and took up the calliope.

Where Vision Meets Budget

I always wonder how closely a finished piece of artwork comes to the actual vision/intention of the artist. For instance, when Picasso pulled his brushes away from his canvass was he filled with a feeling of discovery or a feeling of "yep, that's what I set out to do?" Certainly serendipity plays a major role for most artists. There is nothing more pleasing than stumbling upon benevolent accidents and chance. However, I have always been a fan of really bad music videos. I'm not talking about bad music because if that were the criteria then most music videos would be classified as DOA. I'm talking about those videos that are nothing more than low budget train wrecks from the very get go. The kind that make you cover your face in embarrassment for anyone involved. The kind that makes you ask "is this REALLY what the artist had in mind the first time he/she heard the music?" Below are just a few examples of distorted vision.

This one is just wrong on so many levels. "Hey, we have ten minutes to throw a video together...let's do it." Fuck the death penalty, you commit murder...you have to be a dancer in this group!



This is what happens when a self absorbed lead singer has a producer blowing smoke up his ass, "Tommy, you're a God! We'll get hot dancing chicks dressed like Indians,we'll have fire trucks and fighter jets, the cavalry will come storming over the hill...and you baby will be the star. By the way we have $52 bucks in the account."



Journey...just phoning in the effort.



This was literally a career ending video for Billy Squier. It doesn't get any worse than this folks!



Rocky M. making Billy Squier look like Fred Astaire.

They're Out There.

OK, took a little siesta there for the month of January due in large part to a sudden attack of the "It's winter, I fucking hate the winter" blues. Spring is in my sights and I can almost hear the geese scheduling their boarding passes. So...

Saw a dead guy the other day. Not that that is impressive in and of itself. But, saw a dead guy nonetheless. My friend and I were cruising down the highway when we rounded a long turn and came upon a frantic situation with cars slamming on their breaks and people running all over the place. And there he was! Lying just outside his limousine door, Dressed in a tuxedo, flat on his back, arms and legs spread and looking straight up into the morning sky. We slowed and were prepared to stop but there must have been a dozen cars already pulled over, everyone with a cell phone in hand. I assume the were calling for help and not fulfilling some kind of perverse photo-Op. I said to my friend as I watched and older woman place a towel under his head "someone should be jumping on that guy's chest...he's not going to make it." And sure enough in the following morning paper...he didn't: "So and so...stricken ill on the side of the road....wife and kids....no mas." But here is the reason I'm writing this. I think this is going to stay with me a while. Not for the fact that I witnessed a human being departing the living. I've witnessed that in more gory theatrics than that. No, what is going to stick with me is that I am a cynic by nature. I have come to believe that humans are a selfish lot and will rarely, if ever, extend themselves beyond what is absolutely necessary...and even then only if it will benefit them. So, I was amazed to see so many people, with honest intentions written across their faces, leaping into action to help postpone the death of this stranger. Maybe I am just delusional or have fallen victim to the Blitzkrieg of human negativity the media shamelessly passes off as news, but I think I might have witnessed the chink in the armor that the vast majority of us have buried beneath our cloak of cynicism: compassion. And this is an encouraging first step toward salvation if we are going to continue functional as a whole on this fucked up little blue rock!