Image Sells

How fucking dumb do advertisers think we are to believe that they can take a television personality, throw a product in their hand and expect us to get a hard-on for that product simply because this personality says "ya gotta have it"? Well, let me rephrase that: why are we so dumb that we fall for this shit? First of all I have never been a big celebrity fan. I certainly enjoy watching sports and going to the movies if I know a certain player or actor will be performing. But that's where it ends. I am aware that there is no relationship beyond my reach of the remote control. I don't know them and they don't know me. Ultimately when it comes time to pay the bills or figure out why my balls itch they are not going to be there with a checkbook or ointment. So I find it fascinating that celebrity endorsements are considered high value marketing for advertisers. What qualifications does someone who plays a doctor on TV have in trying to get me to buy a fucking car during a commercial break? Maybe the line between fantasy and reality is just a little too thin and some people truly want to believe that these recognizable faces somehow understand their needs or that through some act of loyalty they will be just a little more like them. There has to be some form of mental breakdown because there is no other reason why a 19 year old, 300lb hog farmer from Nebraska should ever believe that if he eats a certain brand of burger he too will be able to dunk a basketball. But he continues to do so. Well people, the sad truth is that celebrities don't really give a shit if you buy that product or not. For a fat check they would sell diamond studded designer colostomy bags. You have to remember that these people have no more of a clue about life than the guy pissing on a dumpster behind the bus stop. Their success should never be confused with omniscience.
Advertisers are pimps by nature and celebrities are simply pseudo-pimps hired to whore a certain product. I find it difficult to buy something that needs to be "jazzed" up by Tiger Woods. If there is a product out there that performs the same function as the one with the "Swoosh" then I am buying it. If there isn't then just say that and stop all this celebrity nonsense.